Besides, He’s a Saint

Given the bias of this operation, I can be silent no longer. And let’s be honest — the Hot Stove is sometimes more appealing than cruel realities. As you may know, on December 2, 2010, the Chicago White Sox signed free agent first baseman Adam Dunn. This shocking move caused massive reverberations in the Sculpting in Dimes headquarters I can assure you, as I can also assure you that we toasted our Bill James Handbooks and laughed maniacally into the depths of night, forever freed from the soul crushing shackles of Mark Kotsay’s hostile takeover at the designated hitter position. But this joyous reception is not just here, in the city by the lake, but across this vast nation. So in an attempt to free ourselves of bias, let us take a look and see how some sportswriters and media pundits across the country have reacted. The results speak for themselves:

“To cut to the chase, Kenny Williams’ heart-breaking and magnificent signing of Adam Dunn is the supreme masterpiece by one of the greatest of 21st-century GMs. Bringing together all of sabermetrics highly developed ideas about statistical analysis, value, and objectivity, as well as grace, redemption, and human nature, this signing is understated and majestic, sensuous and ascetic, ridiculous and sublime.” -The Arizona Republic

“Kenny Williams’ masterpiece defies any conventional analysis, telling a story of sin and redemption by signing Dunn, a donkey, after he passed through the hands of a number of teams, including a peasant (Nationals), a satanic delinquent (Reds), and a saintly fool (Diamondbacks). Perhaps the greatest and most revolutionary of Williams’ signings, this will be a difficult but transcendently rewarding experience, never to be missed.” –San Francisco Chronicle

“But the Adam Dunn signing is, for many people, a profound spiritual experience. Kenny Williams, a very devout GM, creates his own unique vision of baseball, as well as a signing of transcendence that sweeps us up with its exquisite innocence, purity and quiet suffering.” -The Seattle Times

“Where the Adam Dunn signing differs from Williams’ other moves is in the degree to which it accepts and sustains a multiplicity of actions, objects, even, in an almost traditional sense, “character.” Not that Williams has lowered his vision (the move’s range of associations in symbol and dogma should occupy any amateur of sabermetrics for some time) but that he has expanded it to include a superbly precise and compassionate awareness of the physical universe.” -The New York Times

Adam Dunn is one of the saints of baseball, and his signing with the White Sox is his most heartbreaking prayer. This signing will illuminate the life of Dunn from birth to death, while all the time living with the dignity of being himself–a dumb beast, noble in its acceptance of a life over which he has no control. Dunn is not one of those cartoon animals that can talk and sing and is a human with four legs. Dunn is a donkey, and it is as simple as that.” –Roger Ebert

“All of life in one single free agent acquisition.” -Jean-Luc Godard

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